Arghh... young life crisis. AGAIN!
GRAGH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm having a quarter-life crisis again. Once again, it's about what to do next year, and although it's not a "I don't want to go to the real world...!" it is a "I don't know what I want to do with myself".
I don't know if I want to be a professional Writer.
I came to this realisation last night, when sister mine was browsing SEEK.com and found a part-time copywriter job, which is something I always thought I wanted, but when she waved it in front of my face and asked if I wanted to apply, my immediate reaction was "GET BACK, FOUL FIEND!"
I blame this partly on the fact that I've been watching cartoons all day, and one included the "Angry Archer" who actually spoke like that, but that's neither here nor there.
While I didn't actually say that, I did make lots of excuses, and it wasn't until after she was gone that I realised that I really don't want to be a copywriter. I don't want to hang around and work out how to best put words together to make a stellar thirty-second commercial. And I don't want to write the news, or documentaries, or anything like that. I don't want to. I think all of that stuff is boring as all get out.
This may seem very straightforward to you, but I've spent the last three years building up to do said jobs, so this is a pretty huge realisation for me.
I'm not particularly worried, because this Communications and Cultural Studies degree isn't going to get stale. It's a useful piece of paper that I can use in a variety of ways, namely in getting a promotion in twenty years. But it does make me wonder about what I do want to do.
I like helping people develop things. I like other people thanking me for doing little things. I thought that meant I wanted to be an editor, but I gotta tell you that I don't think I'm cutthroat enough or enough of a doormat for the publishing industry. I can stand in front of a room full of people that are insulting me, put up with it and respond in a way to make them all feel like idiots for even trying when it clearly isn't getting to me, even when it is on the inside.
Yes, you may have guessed it. I'm considering teaching again.
I always thought I might want to be a teacher, all through school. Even now I daydream about lecturing, and I can't see it being a huge jump from lecturing to leading a discussion. I can't handle little kids, so it would have to be highschool, but I think I could even put up with the year nines if I really had to. It would only take another year of study, and it's a guarenteed job. It's not glamourous, but I never expected that.
The only thing I'm really worried about is more... the reaction. I mean, sister-mine is doing her education degree, and I spent most of high school waiting to get out, so hello irony. It's not the best job in the world, and I'm always feeling sorry for Scrib when she tells of her exploits in the Fucking Snakepit of Fucking Fucktards (I've been meaning to tell you what an effective name that is, by the way).
And the idea of marking someone's work is... kinda... terrifying. Saying "yeah, sorry buddy. I like you, but you can't spell. FAIL."
Then again, I will be allowed to be a cynical bitch and I can blame it on the profession.
-flails- I don't know what to do...!
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lediz) wrote,
anxious
