The Rantings of a Rockish Rambler

Ganked from Scribs

2008-05-12T03:13:43Z

Though I don't really know what to do about my icons with more than one character on them...

Make a list of all the characters in your icons. (Although you may have more than one icon of a single character, they only go on the list once.) Alphabetize it. Take the first two people on the list; that's your first pairing. Second two people; second pairing. Etc. Then write your reaction to each pairing (or a snippet of a hypothetical fic featuring each pairing).

The Little Green Chick (I think she might be from Final Fantasy, but I have no idea, so... I don't know if she counts.)
Let's go with Yami
Richie Foley
Kon
Yuugi Mutou
Izumi... Izumi. From FMA. Yes.
Kimihiro Watanuki
Tamaki Suou
Rukia (buggered if I can remember her last name, and I seem to remember it's hard to pronounce, too...)
Seto Kaiba
Mai Kujaku
Anzu Mazaki
Katusya Jounouchi
Autobot BumbleBee

The Little Green Chick/Yami: I have a distinct impression that LGC is evil, or at least extremely kick-arse. As such, I don't think this relationship would work out too well, because Yami likes being the tough one in the relationship (even if he's not), and he varies between snarky bitchiness and paladin goodness. That would piss any kick-arse character off, especially an evil character. So... yeah, no. Don't think this one'll get too far.

Richie Foley/Kon: ...-snort- Ohh, I'm pretty sure Richie would be fascinated by the fact a stuffed lion can talk, and spend all his time trying to figure out some scientific explanation for the magic. On the other hand, when he's possessing Ichigo, Kon's fun, crude and I think that if he wasn't obsessed with the female body, they'd get along really well.

Yuugi Mutou/Izumi from FMA: Oh, wow but this is so not working out. Izumi likes her men big, mean and stupid (sorry, turn of phrase. Not stupid, but not brilliant, either). Yuugi is... not. That said, I think he'd vary between finding her terrifying and extremely, EXTREMELY hot, while she'd think he's adorable, because all women over twenty generally do. It technically works. Kinda. Not really.

Kimihiro Watanuki/Tamaki Suou: ...There are... worse pairings. Tamaki is probably a lot like Yuuko at face value - a long history but a real love of good times and good wines, a habit for speeches and the occasional ability to suddenly turn extremely serious in order to tell a person they're doing wrong. And despite his complaints, Watanuki does love Yuuko. So I think, after first driving him to insanity and back, they'd work out really well. Doumeki might get a little (extremely) pissed off, but hey...

Rukia/Seto Kaiba: I have a sudden mental image of the two of them staring at each other on a blind date: "....you're short." "-twitch- And you have an oversized ego, your point?" I think they'd find each other amusing, and might make good friends in a crossover, but it would be subtle and shared-appreciation. Love... not so much.

Mai Kujaku/Anzu: I think there is a fandom for this. It's quite successful, because they're both snarky and bitchy with crappy pasts and a good person on the inside. Oh, wait, that's half the characters of YGO. Finally, the secret of the shipping list revealed! -bricked- Okay. No, if they ever got over their respective boyfriends-that-aren't and turned gay, I think they'd be great together. Mainly because they're already good-friends-that-refuse-to-be, so imagining them getting it on isn't that much of a jump. Would explain why they refuse to be friends, too...

Katsuya Jounouchi/Autobot Bumblebee: ...-rubs temple- Ohh... boy... I... -scratches head- Even aside from the whole twelve-foot-minimum-robot thing...? Which Jounouchi would find very cool, even if I'm pretty sure he'd spend most of their first day together trying to figure out what level monster he is... But in all seriousness (and assuming we got around the giant alien robot thing), I don't know how well they'd get along. I think they might have similar histories, but while Jounouchi's left his behind and invested in the trust of his friends, Bumblebee still seems to be making the transition. I think that would get in the way of any even friendly relationship they might have had. But hey, I might be getting BB's character wrong and some people say Jounouchi and Kaiba are making hot steamy love in the backseat of his limo, so who am I to judge?

...that was so weird.

Alphabetically...

Anzu Mazaki
Autobot Bumblebee
Izumi
Katsuya Jounouchi
Kimihiro Watanuki
Kon
Little Green Chick
Mai Kujaku
Richie Foley
Rukia
Seto Kaiba
Tamaki Suou
Yami
Yuugi Mutou

Anzu/Bumblebee: Once again, giant metal robot, but once we got past that... I think Anzu would bring out a lot of Bumblebee's good points (unless Sari was around to object), and Bumblebee's just the right sort of character to bring out Anzu's nice, protective instincts. So I actually think they'd probably eventually go pretty well together. It's be bumpy, because BB probably couldn't handle being good all the time, and Anzu's a little too irritable, but... hey, they got past the giant metal robot thing!

Izumi/Jounouchi: ...-snickersnort- He even likes older women! He'd be downright terrified of her, and she'd probably come after him with the closest kitchen appliance fairly regularly, but it would definitely lead to some hot, kinky sex once she'd punished him enough...

Watanuki/Kon: Ohh... no. No, no, no. For one thing, Watanuki would add up the facts about Kon (spirit, possessed doll, lecherous, loud, actively annoying) and run for the hills. Kon, being a spirit, would chase after him. Such would be the majority of their life together.

Little Green Chick/Mai Kujaku: Again, I don't know who LGC actually is, but I get the impression they'd go fairly well together. Both kick-arse chicks that probably invest a great deal of faith in their sexual prowess. Friends with Benefits, definitely.

Richie/Rukia: Mmm... No. Well... Um... I don't know either character really well, but... no, Rukia might be okay with it, and her personality would probably appeal to Richie, but... there's this block that I can't even see the two of them interacting, for some reason. They're both sidekicks, so, you know...

Seto/Tamaki: There's just... so many reasons why... No. No, no, no, no. No. I'm sensing extreme eye-twitching on Seto's part and much flailing and whining on Tamaki's. They'd meet at a conference, hate each other instantly, and make excuses to never be in the same city at the same time ever again.

Yami/Yuugi: I... -rubs temple- Okay, you know what? Fangirling aside, even if they managed to get separate bodies and even if Yami somehow managed to stay alive and even if things ended happily ever after, I do not actually think these two would get together. Because, quite simply, neither would ever act on it, even if it ever occurred to them that they did like each other that way. Yuugi is mentally incapable of thinking anyone could possibly love him like that, and Yami would never want to force his feelings on Yuugi, and is so arrogant that he would assume there is no way Yuugi could ever feel as deeply as he did. It just would not happen. And that makes me sad. But there you go.

It was still strange. And took a surprisingly long time...

Crap.

2008-05-10T15:00:56Z

I am a terrible shopper. Anything over a grand and I get buyers' remorse.

...

I bought a CAR today.

...

And it's white. I mean... WHITE. EVERYONE HAS A WHITE CAR.

... -bricked-

Okay, that's not really the issue, but I'm pretty sure there isn't really an issue so much as I spent 10 000 big ones and I don't have FIVE thousand.

Well, I do, but I've loaned it and more to the parental units over the years, so technically they've got the five thousand. And I've got four. And I'm borrowing more from them.

But BAHJEEBUS, I BOUGHT A CAR.

....

I'm too little for such grown up stuff.

Screw the Fourth Wall, I have... theory

2008-05-05T03:42:44Z

Two things: One, I am downloading Wolf Pack Production's subs of Sonic X (it's taking all week, it's ridiculous...), and the two episodes that I've gotten so far are one and two.

It's so bad that it's awesome.

I love broken fourth walls, and so I love the first episode in particular.
"Hey! That's dangerous! You can't do that - all the good kids out there will copy you!"
"Ohh... Everyone, don't stand on moving cars, okay?"
I mean... really? Gee, thanks Sonic and the S-Team, I'll take that on board!

Speaking of broken fourth walls, I love Bumper Robinson, Tara Strong and David Kaye for doing "Bee in the Big City" for TFA. That script reading was awesomesauce. "Wow, that took longer than an Inuyasha story arc!" And he even sounded like Miroku when he said it...

Two. I'm a theory bitch! Complete and utter. It occurred to me when I was writing my reading log for this week - we have to critique the readings we do for Concepts and Theories. I didn't realise how entirely unimpressed I was with this week's theorist until I got to the part where I have to say whether I'll use his theory or not. I basically said he was crap, but translated into extreme theoretical language. It wasn't very nice. I feel bad, but I still handed the stupid thing in, because he was pretty atrocious...

But that just reminds me I should never, ever put myself in that position, so I will never, ever become a professional theorist. -nodnod-

....Now I should start my annotated bibliography.

But I won't.

I will finish Mask of the Betrayer with a female character, dammit! I will!

Post two days of stocktake prep...

2008-05-03T14:14:14Z

Two days. Two full shifts. Stock take on Monday. One still freaking useless 2iC...

I am so frikking sick of cardboard, you have no idea.

I spent the entire eight hours today shifting stock around, sticking stuff on boxes, writing on overstocks, flattening cardboard, rushing around to find boxes to compensate for our extreme lack of wine-holders, and filling fridges. I have not left cardboard alone for more than twenty minutes at a time since noon.

I don't even want to pick up my coke right now because it's from Hungry Jack's and therefore in a cardboard cup.

The feel of it, the sound of it, the... everything about it.

This may be a serious compex, you know.

Come ON, CLAMP!

2008-05-02T01:55:03Z

Holic was doing so well! Every damn week, a new update, the story was actually moving along and there was a plot and it was fast enough for me to actually invest some interest in it!

Now I don't get a new one for a MONTH?

...I need some goddamn consistancy in my life that doesn't involve frigging cultural analysis.

I hate CLAMP. With a fiery burning passion that I'll probably forget tomorrow.

Cultura Ew.

2008-04-28T10:10:16Z

How can international trade relations sound like soft core porn?

...I blame Said, Hall and Sun. These three theorists have sex on the brain. Like, seriously. Australia the dominated masculine and Japan the kinky dominatrix... for the luvaMike...

And I somehow managed to argue along the same lines...

Seriously. Ew.

-rubs eyes- YGO culture kills me...

2008-04-27T04:25:56Z

The more I learn in cultural studies... the more I find out about Japanese history... the less I actually watch YGO... the more constructed the show gets.

HOW CAN A SHOW ABOUT CARD GAMES BE SO CULTURALLY RELEVANT, I WANT TO KNOW.

-falls over snickering- I mean... Japanese anti-militarism. How can I possibly relate that to that scene in Doma where the American military pretty much bows down to Yami and Kaiba? It was such a pointless throwaway scene and here I am reading about the Japanese defeat in WWII, and all I can think is "wow. That scene actually had a point... propaganda! Mwuahahaha!"

...I don't know whether I amuse or depress myself...

One down, one essay on Japan's globalised position to go!

2008-04-23T16:34:17Z

Mwuahaha! I have completed a research plan and sent it off for my supervisor to rip apart and for the next twelve hours, I believe I am safe from its evil clutches!

Seriously, lit reviews that aren't actually lit reviews because they're essays that are called research background? Yeah. Not cool.

But, of course, Deb will take one look through it, snort, and send it back to me with "DO IT AGAIN" scribbled all over it, no doubt, but until that point, I am safe.

Now I just have to write an essay on Japan's self Orientalisation. And not manage to sound like an anti-imperialist racist bitch while I'm doing it.

Fun.

But first! Sleep.

Feel proud of me!

2008-04-21T03:41:14Z

I actually went and stood up for myself, today! I FEEL SO PROUD.

Well, not really. I'm sure I'll feel a little guilty about it later, but yeah.

I went and bitched at my manager for twenty minutes about how the 2iC and 3iC treat me, and how the store's been run, and how I deserve more respect than I've been given, and, and, and....! She knew most of it, to be honest, but that just makes me feel better about telling on Joff and Steph, rather than feeling like a tattler or a whiner. But yeah. She was kinda sorta horrified at some of the stuff Joff's done, so I feel justified if nothing else. And she kind of panicked when I said I'd been planning on presenting two weeks notice, so I feel wanted, too. It's a nice feeling.

I don't know how much is going to happen, because as we said, neither Joff nor Steph listen when you tell them stuff, but I feel better at least.

Now I can feel bad about saying "I am definitely quitting this job" to so many people... but oh well. I'll probably say it again in a month! Hooray for consistancy!

Now I shall eat cake.

This is what I spend my time studying...

2008-04-17T05:46:44Z

Ahh... the books I read for my thesis.

Jack Bauer is a BIG DAMN HERO and apparently we love him for it.

I still don't get the appeal.

Random cameo...

2008-04-14T14:51:31Z

Patrick Stump (of Fall Out Boy fame) was just on Law and Order. He had like... two lines, and turned out to be the vicious murdering mastermind psycho.

...very strange.

I was technically and lazily tagged

2008-04-14T02:31:45Z

And I'm also very good at procrastinating about doing my reading log which needs to be submitted before I go to work. Hooray!

How about a brief introduction for yourself?

Greetings Earthling! I am LeDiz, and I'm sure you all know me well enough to know better than to keep reading.

Fabulous! And what got you into fanfiction to begin with?

(this meme is not responding well to my responses) I was scoping out XME, looking for pictures and failing rather miserably. I was very bored and had no desire to go to sleep that night, and fanfiction kept popping up, oh, you know, EVERYWHERE. So eventually I caved and my first author was Internutter of all people, and things kind of fell apart from there

I see, so what kind of fanfiction do you like to write?

Mmmm... I have ridiculous love for writing long, usually chaptered stories that are often AU, make huge changes to my characters' lives, or inevitably end up right where they started, with just some tiny little difference that IMPLIES change. I have to think that would be annoying to read, but I have readers, so... yeah.

Do you find writing easy? Hard? What are the most difficult aspects of writing you struggle with?

Ohhh... it depends? I can write and write and write... and then I suddenly look up and think "who the hell would read this crap?!" and abandon it to the laptop. Then, even when I go back to it, I can't get started again because, well... who would read that crap. So I have trouble with extended motivation. Technical-wise, though, description doesn't come naturally to me - I used to tend to write dialogue and let the reader work out the rest - and so action (the older I get, the more I want to write action surrounded by intense plot. Anime fan? Who, me? Nah...) is also hard. But I'm trying! I really am!

Write a few sentences or so of your favorite pairing or character.

Right now, at this exact second, my favourite character is probably Bumblebee from TFA, but he's... for a character with such supposedly flat motivations, he's extremely complicated. I can never decide whether he's really arrogant, really insecure and overcompensating, or just painfully eager to prove himself to people he doesn't need to prove himself to. I don't usually have this much trouble with characters, dammit, I need canon backstory to help me out! -bangs fist against the desk- Now, dammit!

Are there any fanfiction clichés or trends you’re sick of or just can’t stand?

I am such an elitist, these days. I hate myself, I really do. But unrelated to that, I think the one thing that frustrates me is when people write non-canon pairings or even platonic relationships but don't explain how the relationship came about, even on an offhand aside. It's okay if the author has written that fic before, and this is supposed to just be another installment of their fanon, or... whatever, but... yeah. I'm an elitist. -hangs head in shame-

Are you guilty of any fanfiction clichés you hate? Or any other ones?

Oh, god yes. Usually I justify it to myself by saying 'oh, I've written some form of the earlier fanon before!' but sometimes I really haven't. Shh, don't tell my fangirls! I love writing cliches, as well, but I make no apologies for that, because that's usually the basis of my most successful ficcages, so... yeah!

What was the first fandom you wrote for, and do you still like/participate in it?

Uh... well, when I was younger, I would play games with myself or my toys, acting out stories that, had they been written down, would have been fanfics. So technically, there was Carebears, Rainbow Bright, Sonic the Hedgehog, Max Steel, uhh... But officially, it was X-Men Evolution, and I would if I could, but I always get stuck on the sixth page, so I don't.

Name your OTPs or most frequently written pairings/characters and explain what it is about them that you love to write.

-groan- This'll take a while.

Yugioh
Yuugi/Yami, because I am a sucker for happily-ever-afters-that-weren't. They're both ridiculously flawed and I don't think they're capable of healthy relationships, and I also think that even if they did get together, they would spend most of their lives having to save the world (and never having it occur to them that they'd saved the world) and so never really get a happy ending. But whether romantic or platonic, no one can make them as happy as they do each other, so isn't that technically a happy ending?
Anzu, because she's sad and she's sweet (and I knew her complete...) and she knows she missed her chance. She's not the bitch a lot of people write her as, but I don't think she's a nice person, either. She's a little bit cruel, she is a typical teenage girl, and therefore more than a little self-obsessed, and I don't think she thinks everything she does through, but she works so hard, and she's loyal to what she knows is right. I think she'll grow up to be a wonderful person, and you gotta admire that.
Seto, because Jay made me write him once and I realised he's so sad and pathetic and he just wants someone to love and love him back and...! -flail-

XME
Kurt, though I think I might have gotten his character kinda wrong, back in the day. I still think he's fun and sad and the nicest guy in the mansion, and if I were to do it all again, I'd want to write the part where he and Rogue go from being angsty teenagers to fun-loving adults, except looking at the future-canon pics, I don't think Rogue ever learnt how to have fun...
Kitty, because she's like, you know, totally not with it, but like, totally smart and completely awesome and how could you not love someone so utterly normal and adorable and the fact that she grows up to be, like, smokin' hot and NORMAL SIZED is, like, ohmygawd awesome! -deepbreath- I like Kitty even more now that I'm older.
Pietro, because... pretty much the same reason I love Seto.

NCIS
Tony (and Michael Weatherly for playing him), because I have so much respect for an actor and character that layers himself so well that I have absolutely no freaking idea whether, every night, he goes out and parties, goes home and listens to Dashboard Confessional, or comes back into the office and just works until dawn. I want to know whether he's mature or not, intelligent or not, light hearted or not, and I have no freaking idea! It's awesome!
McGee, because he's so... McGeek. And he can hold his own against Tony, when he couldn't before. -huggles McGeek- he's all grown up.

Digimon
Kouji, because he's an emo, girly bastard that doesn't hit his best friend, but will shove him around and tell him to freaking wake up to himself! You gotta respect that.
Takuya, because he's the bridge between the worlds, is the only real natural leader that digimon ever had, never stops until Kouji pretty much bashes him over the head, and makes such a kyute little digimon!

TFA
Bumblebee, because of all the beeps, "We're all gonna die, aren't we?", the fact he can look up at Megatron holding a bigarse sword and still crack a joke, the fact that he's SMALL (I have a sad love for short characters) AND YELLOW and probably made from aluminium, rubber and cardboard, is easily pushed around, and yet can be really freakin' cold when he wants to be.
Prowl, because such a logical creature should not be so illogical, and his dialogue with Bumblebee is only describable as 'WIN'., while their relationship is sad and cute and I like it lots.

Inu - you know what? I'm gonna stop now.

What would you call your writing “style”?

My writing style is... uhh... realistic banter? Lighthearted angst? Lazy? I don't know?

Do you read other people’s fanfic? If so, what do you find yourself reading the most?

I want to. But because I'm an elitist, I spend more time searching than I do reading stuff. And that doesn't make sense, because some of the stuff I read is just... bad in a good way. My favourite FMA fic at the moment is an OOC script-recap of all the episodes, and my favourite line is "The plot won't stop until I'm carried out unconscious. Let's Rock!" And, I mean... I love AUs. HOW CAN I BE ELITIST IF I LOVE AUs?! I need to be bricked, rather heavily.

Name one thing you’d LOVE to write, but have been too afraid or shy to do.

Right now? A long fic that I can actually finish and post. For serious.

Do you have trouble taking criticism? Or worse yet, do you have the dreaded bloated ego?

Yeah. I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex (oh, but that was one of the best scenes to come out of late-series Buffy). It's not so much the flames or the outright criticism, but the constructive ones and the stories where I don't get any response? Yeah... I curl up in a metaphorical corner and wonder at my lack of skill. -shakes head- Is hopeless case.

When you write, is there anything that helps? Music? Quiet room?

Music sometimes gives me ideas, but I can't write with it playing. I get distracted and want to dance.

What inspires you?

Music, plot holes, really bad written cliches, crying clown characters, reading lots of fanfic at a time. Right now, I've been inspired to write about mechanical goldfish, but I can't decide on a fandom, which is stunting said inspiration.

Lastly, how would you sum up your fanfiction experiences and yourself as a writer?

Lazy. Very, very lazy.

~~Tag some friends because they’ll hate you for it.~~
I REFUZZLE!

Bah-jeezuz

2008-04-12T07:20:02Z

Does everyone know how hard it is to find all those 'anime is evil' feature articles and weblogs and stuff when you're ACTUALLY LOOKING for them?

I mean... grah. Just grah.

In other news, I have rediscovered my love of techno-dance. How can you NOT love a song called "Pink Dinosaur"? I mean... yay! Just yay!

Mwuahaha! I bring ficcage!

2008-04-11T02:55:03Z

What do I think of Mahaado? I don't, really. Never did, even when I watch the show and he's there and actually, you know, talking, rather than just waggling his finger and looking decidedly purple. But

aditou asked and it kinda turned into a fic. It's a TTWD! I'm so proud. Thank you, aditou, you are teh awesome! It's from Isis' point of view, but it's about Mahaado... I think. It might not be. I just wrote the thing, I've got no idea what it's about. Anyway!

#76 - Magic

Sometimes, when the others believe she is deep in her Art, they will not look at her. They will sit with her and physically watch what she is doing, but they will never look and see.

It is a matter of politeness; of honour. The others all have their own Items, and they know how it is to be one with the Art. Even though they are each merely one of many, six in a line that will grow past their very imaginings, still, the Items are always only your own, and no one should disturb that knowledge.

So it is that sometimes Isis must feel guilt for deceiving them. Although she may close her eyes and focus on her Item, it is not the Art she explores. The Art is a method to protect the empire; a dark and glorious path that serves the Light. The Art is for the Pharaoh.

No, Isis does not serve the Pharaoh in these moments. She serves only herself, her own heart. Though she may feel guilt for betraying the trust of the others, she has and will do it a thousand times over, until it can no longer be done. She is not just a Servant, a priest of the Highest Order. She is a woman, and she will admit that she cares for the others more deeply than a priest may be allowed. That, and that alone, gives her reason to do what she does.

Her Item must surely agree, for why else would it allow her to search the hearts of the others? Why else would it tell her that they too feel more than a mere priest should? Through its power, she explores the future and marvels over the past that once was.

She will never tell them so, but she knows the others far more than she should. Her Item has shown her the proud farm boy, the child raised for the sole purpose of serving the Light, the lost orphan who would willingly rescue a witch. She knows of the man who could have been Pharaoh, but instead threw himself into the Darkness.

She has seen their paths, and though it saddens her to know they will not reach their destination, she is happy to see they will always be joined. They may change, but they will have their hearts. The proud farm boy will become a warrior, draped in green and holding a foreigner’s sword high. The true priest will remain so, and he will link himself with the Items to reach a higher plain. She sees the orphan will grow to command not just one empire but two, and she sees his content with this, even as she mourns his loneliness.

She fears the Dark man, but trusts – can only trust – that the Light will always be with him, even if he would not have it so.

She will not explore her own future, but she has seen glimpses of it in the others. She sees herself in cold blue eyes, and hopes that she will always be able to watch him, to tease him, to remind him that he is only human. Sometimes she sees a blank gaze and knows her confidence with him will extend beyond their deaths. She is happy for this.

But then, there is Mahaado, and she can feel only pain in her heart, even as she knows of his contentment.

She has seen his past, but not only in her Art. She remembers training with him, hating him for being so more adept at magic than her. She remembers the jealousy she felt watching the Prince meet Mahaado’s gaze, and the horror she experienced when hearing Mahaado speak with him so easily. More than once, she heard them happily arguing, as she was not close enough to do with anyone.

Those days of heated jealousy are long past, and she now remembers those moments fondly. It is the moments she does not remember, the ones she has seen in Mahaado’s heart, that cause her pain.

Mahaado does not remember much from his youth. His magic is too strong, it infuses every part of his body and mind, and he can only recall those moments that are truly important. She sometimes thinks he is too hard on his students because of it – he cannot remember his own training, and so feels only exasperation when they cannot grasp concepts he has forgotten struggling with himself. Few students last long under Mahaado’s tutelage, and that is how he prefers it. With only Mana remaining, who forced herself into all their lives and refuses to ever be forgotten, Mahaado may focus his attention solely on his calling.

He does not remember training with Isis; those long hours spent amongst the dusty tomes, the glares exchanged over their dinners, their shared frustration when neither of them could master any form of weaponry. He does not remember sneaking away from banquets together, talking until dawn, or the way they would both blush and pull back if their hands ever touched. He does not even remember that one night they spent in the Pharaoh’s garden, shocked at their own audacity but staying just to be alone together. These things are not important to him. He knows only that she is important, in the same way that the others are.

She knows that this is a good thing. His power is more important than their past. Mahaado is everything a High Priest should be, for he does not allow himself personal luxuries such as emotion or memories.

She knows this. Yet it does sadden her that when she looks into his heart, all she sees is his magic, and his duty. When she ventures into his past, all she sees is Mana, and his Prince. A princeling, reaching up to pick an apple for a friend, his eyes so soft and voice so gentle. Mahaado remembers that smile, which never wavered when a servant would look at it, those kind eyes that would not narrow when they were met. But even more clearly, more vividly, he remembers those eyes going firm and sharp as they refused to be avoided.

“Is my blood not the same as yours?”

No, Prince, it is not, Mahaado wanted so desperately to say, but one cannot correct the Sun for shining, and so he could only listen as the prince spoke of a future where he was not above anyone. Mahaado was forced to listen to the Prince’s dreams of a peaceful world where everyone was equal, and only skill and strength could allow anyone to rise above. He was forced to hear the strength in that gentle voice, the anger that drove it, the hope that held it strong. He was forced to believe in it.

Mahaado does not see what Isis knows, and so he does not know that the Prince will be forced into his world, not create it. Isis will not tell him, for she knows…

It saddens her, but she knows there is little else for Mahaado. There is his magic, and his prince (forever his prince, forever that young boy that picked an apple and sucked out poison), and his duty to help create that beautiful, equal world.

She cannot change him, she cannot help him. She cannot even be with him, because no matter how she feels, for Mahaado there is only his prince. Mana may force her way into his attention, but she is just as easily removed from it. Isis may take up a moment of his time, may dream and wish for him to one day remember, but he never will. She will always just be another member of the order, not a childhood friend or even a woman.

His path stretches so far, and she can see it so clearly. It is not broken – he will move directly from this life to the next, and that one will continue on so much longer than her own path. But it is always the same… he will never have more.

“Is my blood not the same as yours?”

No, she tells herself, as she comes out of her Art. Kalim notices and looks up, smiling at her welcome return, but she cannot return it. Mahaado is not the same as they. He is above them, beyond them. He is everything a High Priest should be, and nothing like a man.

He will serve the Light even when it becomes Dark, for there is no difference in his heart. There is only his prince, only the Pharaoh that will not be.

Perhaps – no, she knows, even if she would wish it otherwise – that is how it must be.

Everything is for the Pharaoh.

I DEMAND A DISTRACTION.

2008-04-10T15:23:20Z

A terrible thing has happened. I realised it today. I have no obsession right now. I have nothing that makes me stay up until the early hours of the morning until I look at the clock and freak out because I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE TOMORROW AND NOW IT IS TOMORROW OHWHATSHALLIDO?!

Ahem.

-lazyflailbecauseI'mtooblahtoactuallydoitrightnow- (kudos to you if you understood that first time through!)

I want an obsession. I really do. TFA, Haruhi (which I finally saw the other day. It was cool, but I kind of feel like I missed the point because I watched it in production order, so the climax happened in, like, episode five...), I read some of Ocean's new YGO stuff today and I have to tell you I got nowhere. Hell, I even read that Louie Duck/Max Goof manifesto and read all the recs, and hoped I could get somewhere, but no.

All these things, I have vague twitches about, bunnies that could be, but it's like there's nothing to feed the bunnies. No motivation.

This is a shame, because real life really sorta sucks right now, and I could do with a nice obsession to distract myself with. Somebody demand something creative of me! Please! Give me something to want to achieve! A one-shot, a picture, an essay on why I don't think shipping anthro characters and furrydom is the same thing, ANYTHING!

...-wanders off to collapse under a rock-

....I think I'm cold...

Ganked from vikki and Scribs

2008-04-05T02:02:19Z

1. My username is ______ because ______.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows this story, because I swear I've told it a dozen times. I'm LeDiz because, back when I first got hotmail, I was all of ten years old, and I did like looking at stars, so I picked the ohsoawesomely original name of Stargaza341 or... something along those numbers. And one day, crica age thirteen, best friend decided that was a stupid email, and went about looking up random fantasy names for me to have. She came up with something very long and complicated but cool, and I wish I could remember what it was because it would make this story more believable. It got shortened to Diz, which was, unfortunately, already taken on hotmail. So we went 'LeeDiz', because, you know, that's me, but uh... yeah. Also stupid looking. So it was shortened once more to LeDiz, and I have come to love it. I also occasionally go by DeLiz, if I'm not logged in somewhere, because it was a rule on Internutter's nutboard (my first fandom... I kinda miss it these days) that you couldn't be not logged in and use a member's monniker, and Yma (being dyslexic) thought that's what my name actually was, and used to call me such accordingly, and you know, she's awesome, so it's a nod to her. Yes.

2. My name is _____ because ______.

I am Lee because... -blink- I don't actually know why I'm Lee. I know that if I had been a boy, I would have been Scott, because all the boys' names that my parents liked had already been taken by various members of the family, which my mother refused to copy (we have about three Michaels and at least two Chrises. It's ridiculous.), and Scott was the only one left. I know Lee is spelt 'Lee' because my mother is a firm believer in keeping it simple, and "Li" would have made people assume I was Chinese, and I get called enough nationalities for my accent, so props to her for thinking ahead. Now I just have to contend with the numerous people who either assume it means I'm a guy or that it's not my full name. -rolls eyes-

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.

This is The Rantings of a Rockish Rambler, because I ramble, rant, I would love to live under a rock and only come out to play on the internets, and I rather like alliteration.

4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.

The Victim's Words, because I stand by the claim that you are all very strange people that I must have somehow coerced into being friends with me. Hence, 'victims'. And you speak. Hence, 'words'.

5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.

"When our powers combine, we are Captain Planet!" by yummynummy icons because it's so utterly ridiculous, a little bit sad, awesome, and altogether true. Which I think applies to an awful lot of my life, so... Also, it combines my childhood with the saviour of my university years. How could you possibly go wrong?

6. My LJ name (you know how you can change that sort of sub-name thing?) is:

I am the Diz of Leeness, because once, back when I could talk to Jay all the time (then she went and got a life. Damn her.), she proclaimed my habits "leeness", and decided it was a religion and/or way of life, and proclaimed me the Diz of it. I thought it was hilariously ridiculous at the time, which kind of fits my journal's theme, and now it just kind of meets the username halfway. It works.

Liiiiiii-kuuuuun!!!!!! (also known as an anime rant)

2008-04-01T11:09:45Z

When I was ordering Fruits Basket for my honours thing, I also bought the Cardcaptor Sakura movies. Amazingly, they turned up only a week later - that is, today. And, like I always do whenever I watch that show, I have once again fallen madly in love with Syaoran. Though I always have trouble connecting early-Syaoran with the love-sick puppy Syaoran. When he's interacting with Sakura, I don't care how he feels at the time, he's still adorable. As is Touya with his sister-complex. "Damn you for being the one destined to make my little sister happy! DAMN YOU." Well, maybe not that obvious, but it's damn close! Eeheee!

-sigh- CLAMP and their animators are such fangirls. I have no respect for them, so it's most unfortunate that I fall for their kyute fanservice in Cardcaptor Sakura and their awesome white-on-black art for xxxHolic. If I'm being cruelly honest, I actually really dislike CLAMP simply because they can't keep their complex characters IN CHARACTER, so they either resort to stereotypes, or change their characters to suit what they need at the time. And don't get me wrong, I love Li Syaoran to tiny bits and pieces, but watching the two movies right after each other? It's really freaking obvious that Li and Syaoran are not the same person. When I read the manga, I felt they might have been, maybe, but he loses a lot of his standoffishness in the anime, and, you know, acts his age, so...

That's the other thing. Bitch about kids mimmicking Paris Hilton and Barbie and growing up too fast in Western culture all you like, but the day I see a kid acting the way CLAMP's children do? Ho-ly crap will I be running for the hills.

Actually relating to the Honours thing, I went on wiki and read all the chapter summaries for the Fruits Basket manga.

...Kyou gets the girl! I'm so happy!

-cough-

I'm still ashamed I bought it, but I'm betting ten bucks, here and now, that I still end up marathoning the whole series, clutching a pillow and crying over Momiji. And then I'll do another marathon with my notebook, completely forget to take notes, and end up crying over Momiji. But then I'll watch the last episode and be all disgusted and write a good, long rant, and then realised I still haven't taken notes.

It shall be awesome.

EDIT: (8.39) NONE of the Fruits Basket DVDs work. I am going to have to return them. I am most displeased...

Nicked from Scrib

2008-03-27T23:52:18Z

Find Out Which Disney Girl You Are!
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Violet

She's quiet, reserved, and insecure, Violet is definitely out of place amongst her super powered family. However, much like you, she just needs to step out of herself and trust that she's a truly awesome person, and that people really do like her! You don't need super powers to be truly incredible!

Violet

75%

Megara

71%

Mulan

67%

Jasmine

54%

Ariel

50%

Tinkerbell

50%

Jane

46%

Belle

46%

Pocahontas

42%

Snow White

42%

Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

42%

Esmerelda

38%

Cinderella

38%

Alice

33%

(totally would have gone for being Megara. She was awesome)

Tagged by Scrib

2008-03-27T01:56:28Z

Put your playlist on random. Post the first three songs, alongside explanations for why they're even on your playlist in the first place. Then pick three people you think will actually do this meme.

Alive, by POD
-blink- I have no idea why this is on my playlist. I think I must've downloaded it in a FST at some point... It's a cool song for the lyrics, but even though they sing, and I love the drums, it just sounds like a lotta noise to me. It's very odd.

Pay the Man, by The Offspring.
This is on my playlist because it's on the Americana CD, which I ripped a few months ago in order to get a song I think I've since lost. Woohoo! But the reason I like it is because it often shuffles itself into position behind a particularly loud song, and the combination of soft lyrics, guitar that sounds like something from the middle east and so might not actually be a guitar, and the strong drums, it's a nice come-down. I always forget that until I actually listen to it. And then it ends on a hard and fast set, to warm you up for the next one. It's a 'well done piece' for The Offspring.

Ironic, by Alannis Morrisette.
I could say I'm embarrassed to even have this on here, but I don't think I am. I am, however, embarrassed that the only version I have is from a ridiculously scratched CD that died a miserable, horrible death and which I tried to save by ripping it to a computer. It worked, for about half the songs, by the way. But other songs, liiiike... Forgiven? I think it's called? anyway. That song sounds really good until you get halfway. But Ironic lives on. And while I think I'm supposed to hate it because I loved it at ten, and because she doesn't actually know what 'Ironic' means (apparently. I think she does sometimes, but everyone says she doesn't, so who am I to argue?), and because this song is kinda depressing, but I still love it anyway. All hail!

...those were not the awesome songs I was hoping to show up, but we take what we can get, yes?

I tag... anyone who's likely to do it!

Oi! Scrib! You must pay attention!

2008-03-26T03:13:30Z

Mwuahaha! I have finally finished my entry for Scrib's contest. Or, rather, I finally got around to doing it, being more the point. Based on Harbringer, a crossover challenge fic, I behold a pic-a-ture based on it! Which, surprisingly, didn't fall apart on colouring HALF as much as I thought it would. I is proud of self.

-nodnod-

And now she knows, and I should say that if you want me to email you the pic, I should ask whether you want the mecha-sized one or the smaller one, and I shall now go back to staring at a blank word document, procrastinating about essay writing, while I procrastinate about going to meet a teacher-person who will tell me I'm doomed. DOOMED, I tell you.

...I've had the Kim Possible themesong in my head all morning. It's driving me nuts...

I'm ruining my own fun. And I'm having fun doing it.

2008-03-17T06:10:54Z

I just analysed the gender performity of Transformers: Animated.

I was rambling about how we have to assign gender to everything, and then Black Arachnia came to mind, and how Sari is the one who called her a girl, and how Bumblebee didn't know what a 'she' was, and suddenly I was wondering what the hell made a robot female when they don't have genatalia, and I realised that all the female bots actually have smaller chests than the males, and then I realised that Bumblebee has a higher voice than Black Arachnia, and there's no good reason for us to give them different genders, and, and, and...

-collapses under own desk-

I'm turning into a lit studies lecturer....!

Arghh... young life crisis. AGAIN!

2008-03-15T02:15:39Z

GRAGH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

I'm having a quarter-life crisis again. Once again, it's about what to do next year, and although it's not a "I don't want to go to the real world...!" it is a "I don't know what I want to do with myself".

I don't know if I want to be a professional Writer.

I came to this realisation last night, when sister mine was browsing SEEK.com and found a part-time copywriter job, which is something I always thought I wanted, but when she waved it in front of my face and asked if I wanted to apply, my immediate reaction was "GET BACK, FOUL FIEND!"

I blame this partly on the fact that I've been watching cartoons all day, and one included the "Angry Archer" who actually spoke like that, but that's neither here nor there.

While I didn't actually say that, I did make lots of excuses, and it wasn't until after she was gone that I realised that I really don't want to be a copywriter. I don't want to hang around and work out how to best put words together to make a stellar thirty-second commercial. And I don't want to write the news, or documentaries, or anything like that. I don't want to. I think all of that stuff is boring as all get out.

This may seem very straightforward to you, but I've spent the last three years building up to do said jobs, so this is a pretty huge realisation for me.

I'm not particularly worried, because this Communications and Cultural Studies degree isn't going to get stale. It's a useful piece of paper that I can use in a variety of ways, namely in getting a promotion in twenty years. But it does make me wonder about what I do want to do.

I like helping people develop things. I like other people thanking me for doing little things. I thought that meant I wanted to be an editor, but I gotta tell you that I don't think I'm cutthroat enough or enough of a doormat for the publishing industry. I can stand in front of a room full of people that are insulting me, put up with it and respond in a way to make them all feel like idiots for even trying when it clearly isn't getting to me, even when it is on the inside.

Yes, you may have guessed it. I'm considering teaching again.

I always thought I might want to be a teacher, all through school. Even now I daydream about lecturing, and I can't see it being a huge jump from lecturing to leading a discussion. I can't handle little kids, so it would have to be highschool, but I think I could even put up with the year nines if I really had to. It would only take another year of study, and it's a guarenteed job. It's not glamourous, but I never expected that.

The only thing I'm really worried about is more... the reaction. I mean, sister-mine is doing her education degree, and I spent most of high school waiting to get out, so hello irony. It's not the best job in the world, and I'm always feeling sorry for Scrib when she tells of her exploits in the Fucking Snakepit of Fucking Fucktards (I've been meaning to tell you what an effective name that is, by the way).

And the idea of marking someone's work is... kinda... terrifying. Saying "yeah, sorry buddy. I like you, but you can't spell. FAIL."

Then again, I will be allowed to be a cynical bitch and I can blame it on the profession.

-flails- I don't know what to do...!

... Culture is NOT eating my brain...

2008-03-10T04:10:53Z

...I finally got around to watching Stranger than Fiction. It wasn't the comedy I thought it was going to be... it was much more like an Australian movie, which I tend to dislike, because they're all about mumbling and pausing and having significant moments that make us think on what that means.

But it didn't end up that way.

It was interesting, because I actually managed to separate the movie-fan in me with the cultural-critic in me. I feel proud of this. The movie-fan in me went all squee at the end... but the cultural-critic in me said "but the movie adaptions of books don't HAVE to have the same ending! You could have said something therein! Damn you and the thesis you rode in on!"

Meanwhile, the logic side of me started bitching about how this is EXACTLY what happened with The Lakehouse, and didn't THAT just make no sense whatsoever.

...It was kinda cool. I love the author.

...I have a TWELVE HOUR shift on Thursday night. 9-9. And, at the end of the night... morning... whatever, I have to set up the entire framework for our store's electronic systems.

I am so difinitively terrified.

Rambling is fun

2008-03-06T02:15:53Z

I have my awesome shift tonight!

...I'll be spending four hours studying... wow. You'd think I'd think of something more interesting to do.

But I will have my MP3 player! Yes! And - and - and I will take my laptop, and sit on the beer, and watch the technician like a hawk, so I hope to god the beer is high enough, because otherwise I'm gonna look really freaking stupid.

Uhh... I've been trying to get into Transformers, lately, because R1 is, and I want to be all supportive and junk. And she keeps telling me about these great fics she's been reading, so, you know...

It's proving surprisingly difficult. I can only really bring myself to read stuff that at least relates to the movie, because that's all I know. And I would really like to read some of the lesser character stuff, but... I really can't. Oh my god... hearing Maggie called English... time and again... it... my brain... no. WE DO NOT SOUND LIKE STEVE IRWIN, PEOPLE. That is a New South Welsh accent! That is the way my friends all talked when I lived over east! I am not British! Gagh... And poor Simmins. He doesn't get love.

I blame the movie itself. I mean... it was more constructed than Spiderman 3. But I have found a lot of things to like about said movie, as long as I can groan and carry on and roll my eyes whenever the police or teachers or... popular kids or... you know... anyone but the 'good guys' are on screen. Because Bumblebee is adorable and I love him. I still think the Sam versus Frenzy scene was a little subtexty, but hey. Frenzy is clearly a crack head on caffeine.

...So, for this new story I've been posting? The NCIS one? It's been... interesting. A very interesting experience. There's one chapter to go, and I can't quite decide what to do with it (there's two possibilities... I think I'll go for the more likely...), but... wow, it's just... interesting.

I mean... Well, I think it's more like a bit of a mind-twist. Because you know how you get some people who review, and they might only review once, but keep reading? While there are others who review every chapter, even if it's just to say "That's great!" or whatever. But now... now that we've got the whole story alert thing? I think... I think some people are just using that rather than... well... reviewing.

My review:hit ratio is ridiculous, but that's okay. I can deal with... you know... 400 hits for every review. It breaks my brain a little, but I've gotten used to it. I KNOW Scrib has it worse for almost every fic she writes. But this has resulted in having 66 reviews so far. Which is still pretty awesome for a four chapter story, don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled. But uh... then I look at my story alert thing? And realise I have... FIFTY story alerts? And it goes up every week?

.... Do you think that if I wind up with more story alerts than I do reviews, I'd be wrong to break out in hopeless giggles?

I... think I'm okay for Honours. I realise that this is still very early days, but I'm feeling okay about it. Which is odd, because my friends don't seem to be, and I'm usually the one complaining about course work. But I figure I'll just do the work, hate the online part with a burning passion, and... do the work. I spent three years doing pointless stuff that I despised for uni, I can handle another three months.

... I just got a call from work and might not be doing my shift until next week. This is very sad and/or distressing. Because my sleep patterns are fucked up NOW to accomodate this.

Well, not really, but I like complaining, so, you know, why not?

I'm gonna go write a ramble for school now. Australia is in a political binary! Shock horror and whatever shall we do, since we totally haven't been in this situation for the past 200 years?

...

bye.

What's this?

2008-03-04T02:52:58Z

There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads! They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead. There's frost on every window, oh I can't believe my eyes, and in my bones I feel the warmth that's coming from inside...!

Oh my, what now? The children are asleep, but look, there's nothing underneath. No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them, or snare them, only little cozy things secure them in their dreamland...

What's this?

The monsters are all missing, and the nightmares can't be found. In their place there seems to be good feeling all around...

What is this?!